Discernment

"The word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so that you may obey it. See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction ... Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life." Deuteronomy 30:14-15,19-20




What am I called to become? I feel broken in many ways over the last few months. I'm realizing that I cannot keep growing as a Christian if I don't develop a regular prayer life. It's amazing that I've been able to last this far in my spiritual journey (10 years now as a Christian) without daily prayer. I've been praying before meals for most of those years, yet that's the only prayer I usually do.

During my first year of medical school, me and several other devote Christian medical students, made it our goal to get deeper into prayer. My thought has always been, "What does it profit a man to gain the whole world (medical education, career, family, health, etc) and lose his soul?" I would rather fail out of medical school than let my spiritual life not grow. God has blessed me with academic success, yet I've been feeling a growing barrier in my relationship with God. I'm feeling as if my freedom to follow God's will is continually challenged and undermined.

My greatest challenge during that year of prayer was loneliness. I never learned how to fill my loneliness with God. Instead, I desired a spouse to fill it, thinking that if I would get married, my loneliness would disappear. This resulted in a lot of unnecessary pain and I'm still having a hard time seeing anything but my selfish will during my second year of medical school, although my loneliness was temporarily gone.

"Historically, the majority of people born into this world marry and have children. It is the default vocation of the natural order. Rare is the vocation to the priesthood, religious life or (even rarer) consecrated single life. The confirmed bachelor is none of those things. He is simply in the state he arrived in from his mother’s womb; an unmarried man. Too many men waste a tremendous amount of time because they are not sure what God wants."
http://www.6stonejars.com/index.cfm/2011/6/4/Confirmed-Bachelor-Why-Good-Men-Stay-Single

Now, I'm giving control to God in this department. I do not know if God desires for me to be married or have a consecrated single life. All I know is, "Christ is enough." I am simply trying to wait on His counsel for my life, for every vocation: relationship status, career, location, etc.

"Vocation does not come from a voice 'out there' calling me to become something I am not. It comes from a voice 'in here' calling me to be the person I was born to be, to fulfill the original selfhood given me at birth by God." Parker Palmer, Quaker minister

"The place that God calls us is that place where the world’s deep hunger and our own deep desire meet." Frederick Buechner, Protestant minister

Find God in all things and constantly work to gain freedom to cooperate with God's will.

Find God in all things
Besides church, the Bible, prayer or Christian groups, you can find God in:
1) Work
2) Difficult Relationships
3) In Our Failings
4) In Loneliness
5) In Pleasure

Examen of Consciousness:Finding God in All ThingsA POPULAR METHOD OF PRAYER FROM ST. IGNATIUS AND HIS FOLLOWERS
3 Minute Retreats

Organic

"Their grapes are filled with poison..." Deuteronomy 32:32

The Environmental Working Group [Harvard Healthwatch June 2003] urges consumers to consider buying organic versions of these fruits that have the Highest pesticide levels: "Peaches, apples, strawberries, nectarines, pears, cherries, red raspberries, imported grapes" and "Spinach, bell peppers, celery, potatoes, hot peppers".

Interestingly, these are also foods that harbor food-born infections in developing worlds: "Thin-skinned fruit (e.g. peaches) or fruit you cannot peel (e.g. berries and grapes), and Salsas and leafy green salads."

Heidi Kenney’s Dirty Dozen Cheat Sheet

On the other hand, lowest pesticide levels are in "Pineapples, plantains, mangoes, bananas, watermelons, plums, kiwi, blueberries, papaya, grapefruit" and "Avocados, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, asparagus, radishes, broccoli, onions, okra, cabbages, eggplant." Fruits, nuts, and vegetables with thick skins or shells (such as cucumbers, peanuts in shells) that you remove or peel yourself are relatively safe to eat in developing countries.