Two years transpired since I last blogged. Medical school has dominated my life. I've been looking over my old posts. Some posts are fascinating and others embarassing. Actions are more powerful than words, so why waste time blogging?
"If some are still dominated by their former bad habits, and yet can teach by mere words, let them teach. For perhaps, being put to shame by their own words, they will eventually begin to practice what they teach. " - St. John of the Ladder
Instead of God dominating, bad habits dominate me. While my medical school journey has been successful by the World's standards, I could be glorifying Christ daily seventy times seven times more. Love, forgiveness and Jesus are replaced by vasa previa and late decelerations (ob/gyn rotation now). Obsessions about memorizing facts, "being a good doctor" and pleasing my superiors predominates. Hopefully my confessions will humble me to action!
"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness! No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other." John 6:21-24
My spark to proclaim Christ in the Wards and Clinics is dwindling. Several months ago I was organizing and doing spiritual care outreaches. Now, I am fearful of discussing faith because it would be seen as "a waste of time" and "slowing down efficiency." Doctors who work fast are venerated. The anti-spiritual culture is more powerful than I surmized. Fortunately, Christ Community Health in Memphis, Tennessee with Dr. Rick Donlon is like an oasis in the spiritual desert I find myself. I might be joining them next summer for a community/family medicine rotation for one month!!! :-)
"The LORD is my light and my salvation -- whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life -- of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27
Specialities in medicine has been a stronghold instead of God for the past two years. I've listened to things like, "the waning interest in family medicine is likely due to several factors, including the lesser prestige associated with the specialty, the lesser pay, and the increasingly frustrating practice environment in the U.S." - Wikipedia. The lure of Anesthesiology caused me to overlook my call to humble family medicine. Dr. Rick Donlon helped me to see that last Spring, but I resisted it until last week.
"He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things -- and the things that are not -- to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God -- that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: Let him who boasts boast in the LORD." 1 Corinthians 1:28-31
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