I returned from my Russian Baptist camp in Ashford, Connecticut on Friday night. The one week at the camp was amazing.

I learned to appreciate the Bible, love others, pray and worship more than ever before. I wish I could stay there and not work, but that option doesn’t seem feasible.

My heart for missions has been opened even more. I don’t know what the future holds, but if I feel like God is leading me into the mission field, I’ll have some contacts in the Russian Evengelical Community.

It’s also amazing how close the history of the Russian Baptist church and the Mennonites are. Many Russian Mennonites became Baptist, but still held their views on nonviolence by not serving in the Russian army. Even though I haven’t met any Russian Baptist for nonviolence in the U.S., they may exist in Russia or other ex-soviet states as well as in independent churches in America.

It’s difficult for me to start working again. I don’t know if I’ll be able to ever enjoy work as much as before, because I don’t know if I’m merely mentally exhausted or disinterested in academics. Probably both. It may be difficult for some people to believe I’m disinterested in academics, but since I started valuing relationships more, academics have steadily been lossing ground. It’s difficult for me to imagine how someone can study anything without having an innate curiosity about a subject, but it seems many people are able to do this. Grades used to me my chief motivator, but after my senior year humanities classes, curiosity has been a large motivator too. It’s difficult to lose my curiosity, but I’m afraid I’m losing it in terms of my major.

It’s more fun to wash dishes at camp than do molecular biology back home. When I was washing dishes, I felt like I could do it with love, but I don’t know how to do molecular biology with love. Washing dishes occupied only my hands, allowing my mind to fly free, my heart free to burn with love for those around me and my tongue to spread beautiful words to others. Molecular biology consumes all of me. I have to focus every fiber of my body in order to not fail. Now, finally, I can understand why my parents said they’re misanthropes.

I know I can be a doctor with love, but can I do research with love?

Update, Wednesday, July 12th ~2pm: Yes, I can do research with love, because a researcher, especially a professor, spends a lot of time teaching, going to seminars, conferences, giving talks, etc. Talking is highly encouraged for researchers. Also, researchers have more flexiblity with their time than doctors, for better or worse depending on the person. However, maybe being a psychologist would be a better option for me. I wanted to be a psychologist originally, but decided against it because I wanted a more detailed biological understanding of a person if I were to help treat people. Now, I’m overqualified in biology and underqualified in psychology for a clinical psychologist. It’s not too late yet, I can still be a psychology major if I drop biochemistry. I wanted to be a doctor and psychologist, but psychiatrists focus too much on drugs. I want to be a pastor doctor, like a shamen but with the Gospel of Jesus. Today, society is so specialized that it’s almost impossible to treat both the mind and body. You’re either not serious enough about the body or not serious enough about the mind. I enjoy helping a person in their entirity. That’s what Jesus did. Jesus didn’t need medicine, but medicine is from God and of God if used rightly, right? The most feasible option is to do M.D./Ph.D and become a trained missionary. However, maybe we shouldn’t care so much about our bodies, but care more for our souls?

Back from Ashford

This entry was originally published at Interconnectedness by Mikhail (Misha) Lomize